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Tips for a Successful Marriage

A successful marriage is not easy but, says Agnel Crasto in these pointers, it is very possible

Marriage is a problem, a problem with a solution. The solution depends on love. Love means to give yourself for each other for the sake of giving and not for receiving. The more you give to your partner the more you get.

Your personality is built up or broken in marriage. The question is how to be happy or successful in marriage, despite all the problems which the married couple encounters in their lives whether it is economical, social or political.

Marriage is based on human and social relationships. It is the question of adjustment. Others will not adjust to you; you must adjust to others.

Try the following to improve your personality in marriage.

Be realistic about each other
Don’t try to turn your partner into something he or she is not.

Love each other for what you are
There is more to your partner than what meets the eye.

Always talk things out
Don’t make assumptions about each other’s feelings.

Learn to express yourself better
So that your partner understands what you are angry about or hurt or even happy about!

Make an effort to do things together
Do some sports or involve yourself in some shared activities, something both of you enjoy or are interested in. If you are spending more with your friends rather than with your partner, it’s a warning sign that you are drifting apart.

Meet each other half way
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the ‘The Rock’ print, you should not kick up much of a fuss if he asks you to keep the house tidy. There is got to be a little giving and taking in a relationship. So learn to meet each other halfway.

Show your love
Buy her or him small lovely gift every now and then, even if you have been together for 5 years. It’s wonderful to continue showing someone that you are for him or her, so she or he knows you can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.

Respect each other
Stop joking about her hair or skin or whatever it is you love to laugh at. Ask yourself if she thinks if it is funny. If he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop looking at tall guys and make him feel worse. Love is about respecting each other feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.

Bury the past
Stop bringing up the past. Please don’t bring up the happy things about you and your ex-boyfriend to your husband. It would make him jealous or unhappy. My advice to young men is, don’t talk about the happy times that you had with your ex-girlfriend. Or mention about her in your every sentence as it would make your wife feel unhappy and she might think that you saying all this because you are trying to get back with your ex-girlfriend or that you are not interested in her anymore.

All of us go through spells of insecurity at the beginning of our marriage relationship, but don’t translate that insecurity into jealousy. If you are going through your partner’s mail and cupboard, eavesdropping on conversation or telephone talk, you know something is wrong with you. Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads through the marriage and destroys your personality before finally killing you. Trust your partner, love has to have trust in it.

Keep you commitments to each other
If your partner is frequently cancelling dates and breaking promises to you, you need to talk. If you are in a relationship, make your partner your priority and don’t disappoint them if you can help it. It is really terrible when someone promises to take you to dinner and then calls to cancel it. Don’t make promises you cannot keep. If your partner starts to feel he or she is not important enough to you, you may just lose him or her.

Be honest
Express your feelings clearly. When you are hurt say so. When you are angry, tell him or her. If you can’t be honest with your partner who can you be honest with? Love is all about honesty and a relationship where no honesty exists is probably not worth it.

Let your personality in marriage be positive and not negative, be optimistic not pessimistic, be constructive not destructive. Be a possibility thinker and not an impossibility thinker. Lead your life with God’s presence in yourself and in your family. What do you say?