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No Longer Two But One

It is God’s divine plan says Tomas Lobo, that the love between husband and wife unites them into one entity

From the beginning the Lord has made it possible for us to share our lives with another, to have a unique companion. And so in marriage when a man and a woman come together they establish a loving relationship dedicated to promoting the well-being of each other and the procreation and upbringing of their children.

Since it is an unbreakable relationship of love, the latter is the binding force in which they give themselves to each other in complete trust and selflessness. Love, particularly married love, involves selfless giving. It means putting aside one’s wishes and striving to fulfill the desires of another. The love that the husband and wife share with each other finds its deepest expression in the intimate union of mind, heart and bodies.

Bodily or sexual union devoid of the opening of hearts will only remain an incomplete act. To the extent that the partners mutually place themselves at the service of each other in unselfish concern and forgetting selves, concentrate on bringing pleasure and joy to the other, will be the extent to which they will have experienced satisfaction and true joy. When that utter unconcern for self and true concern for the other pervades the sexual union then true oneness results. We might say, with greater accuracy, that marital love is not simply a giving, but a giving-receiving relationship. This also encompasses sexual relations.

The description above perhaps indicates in some general outline fashion how husband and wife both give during intercourse but this represents only a theoretical sketch. For making love together is an extremely dynamic, personal affair. Married Christians, in virtue of the sacrament of matrimony, signify and share in the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exist between Christ and His Church.

St.Paul in his letter to the Corinthians likens the love relationship of husband and wife to the relationship that exists between Christ and His Church. Just as Christ loves the Church and surrenders himself in total self-giving, so too should the husband model his love towards his wife on this true unselfish and gratuitous love of Christ. Christian couples therefore, should nourish and develop their marriage by undivided affection, which wells up from the fountain of divine love, while, in a merging of human and divine love, they remain faithful in body and in mind, in good times and in bad.

The Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another. God willed “a man leaves his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen 2, 24). Then God Himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been in the beginning. They are no longer two, but one.